"Why do I find it hard to tap into my slut / wild woman / domme energy?" I've been asked before, many times.
In short: it is vital that we feel SAFE enough to express ourselves fully.
Because of the Patriarchal programming in our culture, we (womxn) are often viewed through a lens of "cute” “adorable” “pretty” “good”… a version of feminine sexuality modelled on the shadow of the feminine, the Good Girl.
So is it any wonder that you feel challenged by the [slut/wild/domme] energy because of this programming?
You have literally been conditioned to deny the darker, primal, sluttier, dirtier, more demanding, more devouring aspects of your sexual self.
Because it’s too threatening.
It’s too powerful.
It’s too “masculine”.
So, instead, we hide those parts away, repressing them into the dark corners of our psyche. They often come out in shadow behaviours because we haven’t fully integrated them. We continue to deny them.
Instead, we express the polite & pretty version that feels safe to us because that’s what is “accepted” in this society as light wife/mother/daughter.
Over time, it becomes all we’re known for. And after years of conditioning and repeated patterns, it will seem like this version of ourselves is hard to break out of.
But, it is always possible!
We all have light & dark energies within us, it's just the darker ones are sometimes harder to access because, not only are they deemed "the bad ones" (which is not true) but we haven't built up the capacity to hold or express them in our bodies. Going against the grain is scary, it feels rebellious, dangerous even, our bodies aren’t primed to go there. To descend into the dark.
We have been conditioned to favour the lighter feels so there's a certain amount of energetic weight-lifting to do to get in shape, so to speak!
The dark fiery energies are BIG!
They take up SPACE!
Often our nervous systems aren't able to hold that energy, they aren't used to it, so it’s hard sometimes for these darker denser energies to be able to come out and be expressed - or want to.
When it comes to expressing our darker erotic desires, it can be even more challenging. The darkness is so misunderstood in our culture. Associated with death, pain, fear - viewed through a limited lens.
Yet it's so much more...
When we move towards embracing and embodying more of our darker wild energies, allowing our raw primal erotic feminine to come forth and take up space, we find a wellspring of untapped energy, dormant through years of repression.
It is this very energy that we will be working to unlock & embody in The Erotic Feminine - among others....
What is often the case is that It might be that you need to do some work around integrating your masculine in order to fully express your feminine.
Anchoring safety in the body for us to unfurl into our feminine comes with allowing our inner masculine to hold space for us.It might sound counterintuitive but it’s not. We must connect with and enliven a healthy masculine energy within us in order to create more safety in the body.⠀
Our Inner Man (keeper of our masculine energies) wants to serve us (to make sure we feel safe and held to dance, emote, & express our wild feminine energies). When we can marry & merge the two in harmony, that is a solid foundation from which to both rise & descend.
We can read all we want about feminine & masculine principles and polarities, but it's all about embodiment! Drop the theory and land in the body to play with your Inner Man.
Then you'll learn yourself more and more and knowledge leads to more empowerment! You'll also get used to embodying the different aspects of your erotic energy and try them out through your own inner masculine lens of devoting to and worshipping the feminine.
Most people tend to operate masculine-dominant but it’s in an unhealthy way — which kills off our feminine. But we can have both dancing in harmony! It’s all about embodiment & getting to know these inner aspects of ourselves more intimately - and that’s how we will be able to show up more fully, with integrity, and able to express ourselves and our desires from a more empowered and anchored place.
Do you resonate with this? Do you feel conditioned to express yourself a certain way?
Where do you feel integrated with your masculine & feminine?
How does your darker wild erotic energies feel able to be expressed?
If you'd like to explore this inquiry further & bring it into the body, doors to my four week group program The Erotic Feminine are open & there are only three spaces left. We begin our journey into the powerful realms of eros starting 21st February. Come, join.
*note: I speak of principles & energies, not of gender