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Pleasure First, Please

What do you feel about committing to a life of more pleasure?

⁠ A life of more spaciousness? A life where you surrender to the flow & lean into trust?⁠ ⁠ A mantra of mine for this past month of the year / decade has been Non Attachment. Attachment comes through wanting to control. To grasp. To stay permanent. And we all know that that’s not the way things work. Universe has other plans.⁠


⁠ When we walk the way of the Wild Feminine & prioritise pleasure, this can come in many forms. Pleasure through awareness & stimulation of the external & internal senses. Pleasure through the ease & joy of life. Pleasure through sexual expression, of course. ⁠ We also experience pleasure through surrendering, through staying open to receive, through trusting in the unknown, & through staying available to feel. We can’t experience pleasure when we want to control our experience of it.⁠ ⁠

Choosing pleasure first is a radical move away from what today's world tells us to do.

When we live the way of the Wild Fem, we are choosing to go against the grain. We are choosing to rebel against the “norm”. The status quo that wants us to be linear, to be able to control all outcomes, & to value stress as merit. How many of you have had the conversation with your friends that goes something like this:


"I'm so tired, I worked til 8pm last night & then was in the office at 7.30am"


"Yeah, me, too - I was working til 9pm last night & then went to the gym before my breakfast meeting. I'm knackered."


Status is earned in grinning through stress & exhaustion, right?


This is leading with pressure not pleasure, to paraphrase Rebecca Campbell. But I prefer pleasure to be the bench-marker, don’t you?⁠


Choosing pleasure over pressure is such a revolutionary way of being - especially as a womxn, to consider her inner cycles & rhythms, too.⁠

Supporting the new paradigm, shifting from old beliefs & old patterns requires change & transition. It requires a deep rewiring. It invites compassion & self-love, patience & loving kindness.


And this new paradigm - where pleasure trumps pressure - is coming in, whether the rest of you are ready for it or not. There is a visceral awakening happening across the planet. A huge uprising in the empowered feminine. No longer is the feminine willing to stay small & quiet, suffering in her tiny cage. She is learning how to raise her voice & speak her truth. She's done playing the masculine game & trying to fit her juicy, cyclical, sensual nature into their hard square box.


To be clear, the feminine is not rising to over-throw the masculine (we don't want Matriarchy over Patriarchy) she is rising to extend out her hand for the masculine to rise with her. To bring balance back to this patriarchal imbalanced masculine that is serving no one, the masculine included.


Wouldn't it be nice to have men who were more sensitive & emotional, who prioritised their pleasure, too? They're are ready for a stronger feminine to hold them in their tears, as well, one who embodies her boundaries, & brings her own magick to the table, resting into trust of the flow & the unknown which we do so well.

When we commit to putting pleasure first, it doesn't matter what the outcome is. Because we are in our true state, our true way of being. We are choosing not to conform, but to rest in the unknown. To rest in trust that all is meant to be the way it is. When we release the expectation (non-attachment) we can fully move into each act of service as if it were a worship - rather than hoping for something in return. We can offer our medicine to the world, without a care of who takes it - because we know we are in our truth. We don't need an outcome to prove our worth.


What spaciousness this creates. What opportunity for openness. What room to breathe & soften into potential.


So, I invite you to dip your toes into this way of being (& leading by example) where we choose to feel, to receive, to trust (big one) that all is the way it is supposed to be [even in the shit times], to surrender control & be held by the Universe, so that you can taste a limitless expansion of pleasure potential.⁠ ⁠ Allow pleasure to find you, even in the smallest things (but you have to be willing to receive & release all expectations first though!).


10 ways you can start to prioritise pleasure: + slowwwww down⁠ & surrender + release expectations

+ touch yourself⁠ + tune into your senses⁠ + go out in nature & open your eyes (wider)⁠ + welcome & express all your emotions⁠ + move your body⁠ + say no to shit you don't want to do⁠ + say yes to everything you love to do⁠ + create space to allow for magic to happen⁠ ⁠

⁠Pathway to Pleasure is your accessible self-guided course & toolkit to support your journey into more pleasure & to expand your range of pleasure potential. Gift yourself a journey back to wild ecstasy & deep body love and connection.




  • Fiona McCoss Women's Empowerment Coach
  • Fiona McCoss Women's Empowerment Coach

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